


Every action has an equal opposite reaction

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, tw: anxiety, tw: car accident, tw: injury, tw: trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25259848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: On the anniversary of his mother's death, Maddie is hit by a drunk driver.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13
Collections: Madney One-Shots





	Every action has an equal opposite reaction

It doesn’t happen immediately.

Chimney doesn’t leave the hospital in the three days it takes Maddie to wake up following surgery. Between pacing the floor of her hospital room, holding her limp hand in his own and talking to her, he tries to remain as externally calm as he possibly can. The only words he speaks are the thousands of apologies that fall from his lips only for Maddie’s ears, unsure if she can even hear him.

Other than that, he remains silent, relying on nodding and shaking his head to reply to the people who seem oh-so-concerned about him even though he caused this. What was it they said? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction? Well, his action had been to phone Maddie that day and ask her if, maybe, even though she was meant to be hanging with her brother after work, if she could come see him instead. The reaction had meant she was going the opposite direction at the time she would have been driving to her brother’s and had been hit by a drunk driver.

A drunk driver who could have killed her and very nearly did.

He feels sick every second of every day that passes and she still hasn’t opened her eyes. There’s a cast on her arm, shattered glass cuts littering her face, injuries he can’t even see yet constantly thinks about. She had been on her way to see him because it was the anniversary of his mother’s death and he needed her. But she never made it to his apartment, and whilst he had been pacing the floor of his apartment, feeling sorry for himself, she had been in pain.

That’s what he thinks about the most, what he imagines, the images of her crying out in pain whilst he’s not there to comfort her.

It doesn’t happen immediately but the moment her eyes are open and he’s told she’s going to be okay, he finds himself running out of the room and as far away from her and everyone else as possible. He doesn’t deserve her kindness, even when she smiled at him, he doesn’t deserve it because he’s the reason she’s in that hospital bed in the first place.

His chest is tight, every breath takes more energy than it should, but he stops the tears from falling. He doesn’t know what he’s doing or where he’s going until he’s there. In the spot where the driver had hit her, pieces of debris still scattered along the roadside that makes him feel sick. It’s only around the corner from him, he’d have seen it if Hen hadn’t picked him up and taken him the hospital herself when they heard the news. He’d have realised why she took the long way around if he hadn’t been so focused on just getting there and making sure Maddie was okay.

She was close to his apartment and he had no clue – how long was she in the car for before they managed to get her out? How long was she hurting for before she was unconscious? He has tried not to think about it, but now it’s all he can think about as he drops to his knees and grabs a piece of glass that may or may not be from the car that hit his girlfriend or her car. His hand curls around the offending object until he feels the blood dripping down, an anguished scream falling from his lips.

Suddenly, the world around him doesn’t exist. All he can see and think about that fateful night – his mom had died twenty-eight-years ago and he almost lost the woman he loved on the same day. Every day since had been a waiting game, half-expecting her to go too because… well, he lost everyone he loved. He was the problem. Everyone left him because there was something wrong with him; his mom, Kevin, Maddie.

Chimney doesn’t hear the sound of a car pulling over, or the sounds of Hen and Bobby screaming his name as his fist makes contact with the road over and over again as though somehow it’ll make him feel better. He did this, he should have coped with the anniversary on his own as he does every single year. He spends the day working and the night completely alone, watching a movie and eating ice cream as he cries and wishes he could have had longer with the first person who had ever loved him. Instead, he had selfishly wanted Maddie and his punishment was her almost leaving him.

He hates himself, and it’s not the first time, there’s a crushing self-loathing building up inside of him that he’s managed to quell for every day he’s waited for her to open her eyes. The moment he knew she was awake, he could leave her in the capable hands of her brother, the other man she loved who would never hurt her, who would only ever keep her safe. She wasn’t safe with him, no one was.

He’s screaming her name, but it doesn’t feel real, the sound doesn’t seem like it’s coming out of him. Hen’s panicked shouting of his name doesn’t even register in his mind, but the arms around him from behind forces him to fight. Bobby’s holding him close, his arms wrapped tightly around his body, the sobs getting harder and harder until he can’t breathe. The words falling from his lips are barely coherent, the pain that pulsates through his hand doesn’t feel real, nothing does. Other than the fact his mom is dead and Maddie almost joined her.

Bobby is terrified, more so than he’s been in a long time, his arms not relenting in their efforts to keep Chimney as still as possible, tears falling down his own face. They had felt it bubbling beneath the surface from the moment they had all arrived at the hospital a few days before. He had been silent, refusing to eat or move from her bedside. At least until the half-an-hour before when he had fled from the room when they had told him she was going to be okay and Maddie had reached a hand for him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, we’re going to get you some help.” He whispers over and over again, feeling helpless, intertwining his fingers tightly so Chimney can’t release himself from his grip. Hen looks about as helpless as he feels right then, her phone in her shaking hand as she shakes her head, tears falling.

“Paramedics are on their way… h-he’ll be okay… he’ll be okay. He has to be okay.”


End file.
